Recent arrivals from Prague, student Jan Rovna and mother Lenka PHOTO: OWEN EGAN

Putting parents' worries to rest

BRONWYN CHESTER | When you think of all the rites of passage associated with first-year university, it's the students that usually come to mind, not the parents. But for many parents, those first days on the McGill campus, helping, then saying goodbye to a first or maybe a last child, can be just as fraught with questions, worry, excitement and, sometimes, a little sadness. But parents aren't alone, nor are they left alone. This year, in fact, the McGill Parents Association offered moms and dads a place of their own, a tent on the lower campus where, during the last week of August, they could ask questions, find out about the association and meet each other over a cool drink out of the heat of the sun and the heat of the moment. The tent was also a place where parents could begin to assume their identity as McGill parents. Ulysse Robichaud, for instance, was thrilled to find a "McGill Dad" T-shirt. "Even students were stopping me on the street to say how much they liked it," said the father of political science student Nicholas Robichaud, while his wife, Mary Robichaud, carrying her tote bag emblazoned with "Proud McGill Parent/Mon enfant va a l'université McGill," smiled knowingly. Wendy Corn, co-ordinator of the Parents Association, found that parents appreciated having a way of publicly expressing their association with McGill. "Parents are so hungry to show their McGill identity, that their child is at the University," she said from her table at the tent which an estimated 1,000 parents visited. The McGill Parents Association was founded by parents in 1963 in order to provide them with a group through which to participate in the University and connect with other parents. Some members, for instance, may act as a liaison for other parents in their region who are considering McGill for their children. Association members may also participate in the McGill Parents Fund, which raises money, largely for the University's libraries. Beyond T-shirts and tote bags, parents like the Robichauds, from Cavendish, Prince Edward Island, and Lenka Rovna, from Prague, were grateful for information they found which put to rest some of their worries. The Robichauds, for instance, were thrilled to have been able to help their son find suitable housing. Nicholas, in fact, is beginning his second year at McGill, and last year found himself in a bad housing situation. That caused his parents no end of worry, so this year they came to ensure their eldest found a decent place. Off-Campus Housing Service proved to be very helpful and the parents were impressed by the help they received from student volunteers. "Without the housing service, we couldn't have found the apartment," they said. "Last night we could sleep in peace." Lenka Rovna's concern, on the other hand, was regarding her son Jan's health insurance coverage. As he has lived away from their Alberta home for the past three years, Rovna wasn't sure if her son would still be covered. Student Health Services reassured her that her son would be insured either by Alberta or by Quebec, once he established himself as a resident of the latter province. Rovna, who teaches European studies at Charles University in Prague, was curious to see how first-year students are treated at a Canadian university. At her university, for instance, "there is nothing for students, nothing for parents," she said. "We don't have support programs. If students have problems, they go to their professors." Like many parents, Rovna was sad to be saying good-bye to her child. (Though Jan joked that given his presence in Montreal and the relatives they have in the city, "we'll probably see more of each other here than in Prague.") Fred and Barb Lunman will also feel a pang when they head down the 401 to return to Athens (Ontario, that is), even though this is not their first child to leave home. Erica is the couple's third, of four children, and their only daughter. "When they leave, they never come back the same way," noted Mrs. Lunman. Being the parent of a child in first year is to walk a fine line between giving the student sufficient space to find her own way while remaining available to listen, encourage and offer guidance. Dean of Students Rosalie Jukier emphasized the last point when she spoke to parents at the parents' receptions offered each of the five mornings by the Dean of Students Office. Informing parents that a drop in marks, in comparison to high school results, is perfectly normal during first year, she nevertheless advised parents that if they sense their children are in trouble, they ought to recommend the appropriate service straightaway. Hence the provision of a handout with descriptions and phone numbers of 14 student services, including financial aid and health, tutorial and counselling services. "You're more in touch with your child than we are," Jukier said, addressing a group of 150 parents in the Faculty Club. "You can urge them to take advantage of the services available." Jukier explained that when problems emerge, it's best to seek help immediately rather than flounder and suffer the consequences to marks. Jukier also put lots of emphasis on safety. "Most of the parents attending the receptions are either from small towns, so they're concerned about their child being downtown in a big city, or they're from American cities where security is a big issue," she said. At the reception, she reassured them about Montreal's safety and about the various services offered at McGill such as the student-run "Walksafe" that provides companions for late-night walks. Something that surprised Adnan Kaddaha was to learn that he, as a parent, doesn't have the right to receive information about his son's time at McGill. Jukier explained that, by law, the University can't disclose any data about students without their written permission. Kaddaha, who is Lebanese and who recently immigrated to Canada from the United Arab Emirates, appreciated his welcome to McGill. The father of 17-year-old Firas, Kaddaha wanted to get not only information, but also a sense of "the manner of thinking of the University." He worries about McGill being tough enough, suggesting that schools in the United Arab Emirates tend to be more demanding of students than schools in the West. From the University's point of view, providing orientation to parents pays off; as Dean Jukier puts it, it's a lot more efficient addressing parents' concerns collectively over five days than taking 2,000 phone calls throughout the year.